It is so easy to come up with a list of reasons we aren’t successful or doing the things we want in life. We have all done this, some do this all the time. We say to ourselves things such as:
- They or this thing prevented me from being successful
- If only they would have hired me, helped me or did this thing for me
- No one cares; I’m all alone, I’m only one person
People are continually trying to find reasons about why their lives are the way they are. We look for others to solve our issues, give us validation and justify why what we have is enough. But… what if the problem isn’t with other people? What if our dilemas are because of our own internal dialogues? We need to find a way to change our internal justification to be about things we control. We need help determining what is truly important to us, and guiding our lives to be fulfilling. To do this we need to know, understand and realize that we are working for the things that are most important. Take control of your life and your situation by asking yourself, what is my role in my current situation and what could I control that might change the outcome. One way we do this is through Self Reflection.
What is Self Reflection?
Self Reflection is the process of looking deep into yourself to understand your fundamental values. You need to dive into your thoughts, feelings and personal goals to understand your core visions and values. Often we hear these terms thrown around at work or in business settings, but they are equally important in your personal life. Self Reflection is something I’ve come to realize we don’t perform often enough. Not knowing your goals and setting time aside for self reflection can have a negative impact on your mindset.
Self reflection doesn’t need to be big and scary. People are always using the excuse that they don’t have time to do things. Like with most things if you find it important enough you will make the time. With that said, this process does not need to take up a bunch of time, be a burden or seem daunting. The easiest way to start this process is to take 5-10 minutes to write down some daily thoughts. As you let your mind wander, ask a few directed questions your goals and core values should become apparent. If you struggle with this, I’ve created a quick and easy Daily Reflection Journal template for you to use if you need help getting started.
Eliminate the Blame Game
You can only control so many things in your life. Making excuses and blaming others doesn’t get you results. For you to be successful in setting your goals and visions, you need to eliminate the blame game. Stop wasting your time, setting yourself up for failure, and blaming others and external factors on why you can’t be successful, positive, etc. Take the time you need to determine what is important to you.
Determine your sphere of influence
Many things are outside of our control. Stop focusing your energy on those things. It’s draining and makes you mentally and physically tired. Your sphere of influence, those things you directly control are the things you need to focus all your effort. These should be the areas of highest concentration as you look deep into yourself and indeed put your self reflections efforts into. If you look into a goal or a vision and you don’t feel as if you can have any direct control over it or the outcome you want. Then you need to change your sphere of influence, make that one of your goals if you feel that strongly about a particular topic. Seek new opportunities, meet new people or join new organizations so you can be in control again.
Do some self reflection and determine what is really important to you. Something else that may help you achieve your goals and finalize your vision is creating a Vision board. Additionally, grab our FREE ebook Beyond Chaos: A guide to setting goals you can stick to.