Mindset

Self-Reflection: Why do I need it?

June 20, 2018 By Joni Kinney Leave a Comment

It is so easy to come up with a list of reasons we aren’t successful or doing the things we want in life. We have all done this, some do this all the time. We say to ourselves things such as:

They or this thing prevented me from being successful
If only they would have hired me, helped me or did this thing for me
No one cares; I’m all alone, I’m only one person

People are continually trying to find reasons about why their lives are the way they are. We look for others to solve our issues, give us validation and justify why what we have is enough. But… what if the problem isn’t with other people? What if our dilemas are because of our own internal dialogues? We need to find a way to change our internal justification to be about things we control. We need help determining what is truly important to us, and guiding our lives to be fulfilling. To do this we need to know, understand and realize that we are working for the things that are most important. Take control of your life and your situation by asking yourself, what is my role in my current situation and what could I control that might change the outcome. One way we do this is through Self Reflection.

What is Self Reflection?

Self Reflection is the process of looking deep into yourself to understand your fundamental values. You need to dive into your thoughts, feelings and personal goals to understand your core visions and values. Often we hear these terms thrown around at work or in business settings, but they are equally important in your personal life. Self Reflection is something I’ve come to realize we don’t perform often enough. Not knowing your goals and setting time aside for self reflection can have a negative impact on your mindset.

Time Commitment

Self reflection doesn’t need to be big and scary. People are always using the excuse that they don’t have time to do things. Like with most things if you find it important enough you will make the time. With that said, this process does not need to take up a bunch of time, be a burden or seem daunting. The easiest way to start this process is to take 5-10 minutes to write down some daily thoughts. As you let your mind wander, ask a few directed questions your goals and core values should become apparent. If you struggle with this, I’ve created a quick and easy Daily Reflection Journal template for you to use if you need help getting started.

Eliminate the Blame Game

You can only control so many things in your life. Making excuses and blaming others doesn’t get you results. For you to be successful in setting your goals and visions, you need to eliminate the blame game. Stop wasting your time, setting yourself up for failure, and blaming others and external factors on why you can’t be successful, positive, etc. Take the time you need to determine what is important to you.

Determine your sphere of influence

Many things are outside of our control. Stop focusing your energy on those things. It’s draining and makes you mentally and physically tired. Your sphere of influence, those things you directly control are the things you need to focus all your effort. These should be the areas of highest concentration as you look deep into yourself and indeed put your self reflections efforts into. If you look into a goal or a vision and you don’t feel as if you can have any direct control over it or the outcome you want. Then you need to change your sphere of influence, make that one of your goals if you feel that strongly about a particular topic. Seek new opportunities, meet new people or join new organizations so you can be in control again.

Do some self reflection and determine what is really important to you. Something else that may help you achieve your goals and finalize your vision is creating a Vision board. Additionally, grab our FREE ebook Beyond Chaos: A guide to setting goals you can stick to.

Vision Board: What is it?

June 13, 2018 By Joni Kinney 2 Comments

If you have found this board, you might have some idea of what a vision board is. At the very least you’ve heard about the concept, whether you believe in it or not is a different discussion. So what is a vision board and how can it help you?

What is a Vision Board?

At its very core a vision board is a tool used to declare what you want to the universe. This belief is based on the Law of Attraction and that what you claim to the universe will be delivered to you. Those who believe this practice believe that if you put positive mental visualization and attention into your goals, you will attract what you want. Therefore, providing your visions to you. If you think this sounds great and that you can just tape or glue a few pictures to a poster board and suddenly gain success you are kind of missing the point.

How do I create a Vision Board?

Creating your vision board can be as easy or as complicated as you make it. However, at the very core of a Vision Board, you need to be clear about what you want and put it where you can see it. This will remind you to put your positive energy into the goals you want to achieve. As you go through the process of creating your vision board, don’t just think about objects. Think about your mindset, business goals, self-development. What do you want to achieve? The images, quotes, objects or reminders of what you want should be the things you want to spend time working on.

You do not have to have a big giant piece of cardboard covered in magazine clippings. (Although you can if you want.) Personally, I love my vision board, and for me, it’s an app on my phone. Find what will work for you, you can do something super simple such as creating a picture collage. Do what works for you!

What if something happens and my goals change?

Honestly in all likelihood at some point in your life, this will happen. You will decide on something great, and then some other external factor will change your perspective, outlook or current situation. At that point your goals change, and so should your vision board. If you haven’t reviewed and updated your vision board in more than six months it’s time to reassess if those goals and visions are still accurate.

Will it work?

I can’t answer this for you. It isn’t enough to visualize the outcome; you have to WANT to work towards the end result. Keeping focus helps me work towards the things I want to achieve.

Other things to consider

We can only control ourselves. Our thoughts, our actions, our dreams. Set them and see what happens.
Occasionally review your visions, your priorities may have changed.
You must be willing to put in the work.
Mindset is a real thing. If you don’t believe you can achieve – you won’t.

Don’t forget to grab our free ebook about setting goals!

Dad’s View : Ultimate Guide of things to teach your Daughter

April 1, 2018 By Jason Kinney Leave a Comment

Awhile back my wife wrote a blog about “The Ultimate Guide of Things to Teach Your Daughter“. I thought it would be good to do write an article of the things to teach your daughter from a dad’s perspective. Keep in mind, like everyone’s son and daughter, my daughter is very unique. Even though she is into dying her hair and talks to me about ‘boys’. She is the same kid that almost every month has weekends of her kicking people in Taekwondo or attending a wrestling event. To this day if you ask her, her dream profession would be a wrestler such as Nia Jax in WWE.

Top 5 Ultimate Guide of things to teach your Daughter

Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin – This is easier said than done. It took me almost 40 years to be comfortable in my own skin. Many of our conversations on this surround doing what you are comfortable with, not what “the group” may want. Try to live a healthy lifestyle but at times if you want that donut, get that donut. Just be happy with who you are on the inside and the outside. Life is too short to worry about what you may not be.
Experiences Over Materials – Travel while you are young. Get those memories of travel when you can as you never know what tomorrow brings. Memories such as going to the wrestling event and seeing your favorite wrestler or going and sitting in the white sand on Siesta Key in Florida with friends can’t be replaced. Those sports figures and cards can be. Going for a road trip in the Polaris Slingshot and feeling the wind on your skin is better than sitting in front of the television. We have been fortunate as we travel a fair amount, we do our best to make sure she realizes our travels are not like most families. Work hard to enjoy each little trip and journey along the way.
Even When You Do Your Best, Sometimes You Still Need a Little Luck, but Never Give Up. I have seen most of my daughters taekwondo tournament matches. I have seen her dominate, I have seen her squeeze out a win. She has lost, She has been rocked and I thought for sure she would give up. She never backed down. Over the years, you hear people say “I am the best”. When she started her Taekwondo journey, I started from the beginning telling her “There are millions of others doing this, you most likely will never be the best”. A lot of people disagree with telling their kids that there will be someone better than them. I fully believe the honesty will help her prepare more than a false sense of security.
Boys have Cooties – I am still working on this one, it was a lot easier when she was younger. Just having issues continuing to convince convincing her of this.
Family Time – Each weekend, Cheyenne and I have a breakfast date. Her and I go out every Saturday and Sunday and go get breakfast and sit in the car and eat and then go to Target. We have done this since she was around five years old just allowing for open conversation and her to see that her and her opinions matter. I am hoping that she remembers to do the same when she is a parent many years down the road.

2 Bonus things to Teach your Daughter

Save and Budget – Cheyenne does not get an allowance, she gets a chore chart. Since she was seven, she had separate cans to put her money in; one for travel, one for spend, one for electronics. Some of those jars give a bonus if she saved a certain amount or she’d only have to save 1/2 of the real cost of the item such as a new iPad. My mom taught me a long time ago to make sure they are invested in the items they want. Most likely they will care for it a lot more if they have something to lose in the deal. I really am hoping this will when she is older and has to her own monthly budget
Her Dad is Human – This is probably the one that people may have the biggest exception to. I have an agreement with Cheyenne that “Ask any question, I will never lie to you, but I do right to refrain from answering”. This has led to many interesting conversations. She is smart enough to figure out that if I refrained from answering, that means she probably got the answer. This has led to her realizing that we all make mistakes. We are all human and nobody is perfect.

If you have questions or have suggestions for other articles please contact me.

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30 of my Favorite and Unique Self Care Ideas

March 27, 2018 By Joni Kinney Leave a Comment

We have been moving throughout the last couple of weeks. During this time it has become very obvious to me how very important it is to practice self-care. Often times our mindset is really determined by our emotional state. You can’t be in a good frame of mind if you aren’t taking care of yourself.

I see so many people who struggle daily to deal with the stress live throws at them and I was asked this week by a great friend “How do you keep so calm with so much going on?” Well, I will tell you… I make sure I schedule self-care. So even if I know that life is crazy, hectic, stressful I am guaranteed time to myself to do something I love.

Feel free to share this image on Pinterest for easy reference in the future!

What is self-care?

Self Care is clearly something we often neglect, overlook or just, in general, make excuses not to do. STOP neglecting yourself! You are doing no one any favors! Self Care is essentially scheduled time and attention that you are devoting to taking care of your own well being.

Ideas for Self Care

Bubble Baths!
Reading
Listen to a series of songs
List out 10 things you are grateful for and explain why
Play with your pet or go visit a shelter
Yoga
Watch the clouds or stargaze
Turn off all screens for a set amount of time
Write out 10 positive quotes
Take a NAP
Journal
Stay in your PJ’s and watch your favorite movies all day
Go get your hair and nails done
Get all dressed up just because!
Color
Visit a Museum
Go to the library and participate in an activity
Find a new podcast
Create your bucket list
Go for a relaxing drive
Call someone just to chat
Watch a new TV series on Netflix
Play a new computer game
Try a new flavor coffee or Tea
Schedule a massage
Visit your local coffee shop
Find a new recipe and try it!
Play in the rain
Make funny faces
Buy yourself flowers

There are many other things to consider, but I hope you found this list helpful! Let me know what things you do for self-care by leaving me a message or commenting!

The Ultimate Guide of things to Teach your Daughter

March 13, 2018 By Joni Kinney Leave a Comment

As most moms I try to do my best to instill some basic principals of life to my everyday interactions with my daughter. She’s at an age where she’s had to deal with mean kids, and yet isn’t old enough to really understand how some of these interactions will truly shape who she will become as an adult. So I made a list of things that I want her to know and learn about herself and life in general. This is my ultimate guide of things to teach your daughter. I mean really it’s the same for all kids… but I only have a daughter. 🙂

Ultimate Guide of things to teach your daughter

Do not ask questions if you are not ready to hear the real answers. If you don’t really want to know the answer to “Do you Love me?” if the answer is NO. Then you should not ask the question. Sometimes we think we are ready for those answers but we really are not.
A Few best friends are better than lots of friends. Knowing who your friends are when you are going through your worst moments is so much more important than having a lot of friends who won’t truly support you when the going gets tough.
Basic Budgeting – and sticking to it even when it sucks. Budgeting can suck, because I really WANT this thing I haven’t finished saving for… but in a year you will thank me for having self discipline when your car breaks down or your tv goes out and you have money set aside to fix it or repair it.
Fighting is ok, it’s how you resolve it that determines how good of friends you are. If you’ve never had a fight with your boyfriend, or a girlfriend then you aren’t really as good of friends as you thought. Now obviously this doesn’t apply if you just met or just started dating, but at some point you are going to disagree. Disagreements are ok, and normal. How you resolve them and that you can resolve them determines what happens next.
No one else is you… don’t let their opinions decide what you like. If you love to sit around and watch cartoons on Saturday or you love to watch that tv show from 3 years ago no one else liked. Those are totally ok things and you should do them. Don’t let others decide how you feel about something. Own your feelings, they are yours!
There is always something new to learn. Even when you are 90 you will not know everything. Technology changes, people change, our world is ever evolving. Learn that you will never know everything.
Don’t judge others, you don’t know what they have endured. It’s so easy to say – oh that person stinks or why don’t they just wash their hair, clothes, etc. BUT… you don’t know if they are going through a bad spot in life or if they are truly choosing to be or act that way. They may have a medical condition or they may need help.
Your choices today may determine your future. Posting pictures, picking on others or just anything will stick around forever. If you post it, think it or say it assume everyone will forever be able to retrieve it.
Being kind and respectful is more important than being popular. As the saying goes, stay humble and kind and help those behind you on the line. There is always someone who knows less than you, and if you see them struggling stop and help. You never know when someone will repay your kindness.
Being beautiful on the outside may bring people to you, but being beautiful on the inside is what keeps them coming back to you.

Please feel free to contact me and if you agree with all or some of these please share!

Life Lessons from working in IT

January 25, 2018 By Joni Kinney Leave a Comment

Life Lessons Learned from working in Information Technology

I’ve been working in IT for the past several years, and I’ve learned a lot about myself, my coworkers and how teams operate. Now you can take advantage of some of my life lessons and apply them to your life.

Below are some of my favorite tips and life lessons learned from working in IT.

Stop making simple things complicated

My biggest life lesson is easy; stop making things so complicated. Many things in life and IT are more difficult because people try to over complicate them.

Sometimes the fastest, most natural, and most common sense answer are the simplest. Try not to make things complicated. Look for the most straightforward solution first. This may seem to be common sense, but trust me it isn’t.

Bonus: Read about Life Changing Things to Make You Successful.

If you can’t explain it in simple terms, you don’t understand it

After having books and books worth of complex system integration’s, data flow, networking diagrams explained to me I’ve come to realize that if you can’t explain something in simple terms, then you don’t understand it.

You may be able to tell me the textbook answer or give me some predefined explanation but if you can’t put it in simple terms. Then you don’t understand it as well as you think.

It’s ok to get pissed off and have meltdowns

Another life lesson… It’s ok to get pissed off and have a meltdown. Well… sometimes. It’s perfectly understandable that you are going to get mad at your coworkers.

After all, you don’t go through life without getting mad at your parents, kids, family members, friends once in a while. While people think that co-workers won’t ever get mad at each other is beyond me.

It’s ok, have your pissed off moment, have your meltdown… do it in private. How you react to a stressful situation will determine how you are treated in the future. Those who remain calm and collected have the advantage.

Ask for what you want

My best employees and coworkers are those who know what they want and ask for it. No one is a mind reader.

If you are new your leaders, don’t know you well enough to see what you can handle. Don’t wait for them to figure it out. Go and ask for what you want.

Whether that’s a chance to work on a project or to work with another team…. ask!

Keep a record of your positive contributions

Likely you will need these anyway. Every company I’ve ever worked for has done performance evaluations; this is primarily an opportunity to brag about your yearly contributions to the good.

Keep track of your positive contributions, they all add up.

Understand your sphere of influence – Life Lessons Learned

Too often I see people spend way too much energy on things they can’t control.

Understand what is in your sphere of influence and use it for the greater good. Never use it for the negative, that may get you immediate gratification, but you will never come out ahead, in the long run, this way. Understand who/what you control and use it.

Help someone behind you on the line

Whether just starting out or if you’ve been there for some time, there is always someone who is behind you. There is someone who doesn’t know what you know.

There is someone who hasn’t been there as long as you have and hasn’t had the opportunity to figure out the life lessons you have learned. Take that person under your wing, show them the ropes and you will forever have someone in your corner.

People remember, make sure they remember you as helping them.

Networking matters – those water cooler moments matter

I know so many people who don’t seem to understand this. Networking matters, those small moments of chit chat… they matter.

People want to make a personal connection. They can’t help it, so use it to your advantage. Who you choose to network with matters, it becomes your sphere of influence.

Ask someone about their kids, give advice when asked, or help them with something in the hallway.

Those moments are so often overlooked, but some of my best friendships and job advice have happened in those moments.

Curiosity is a good thing…

Curiosity makes us want to do better and learn more. Find what you are curious about, and learn it.

Find someone to teach you or figure out how to apply that curiosity to your daily job. It will make you more passionate, more committed and a better co-worker.

I’ve learned a lot of things over my career… but these things combined with 5 Super Easy ways to overcome your fear of technology are my best life lessons learned from working in IT.

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